Friday, 30 April 2021

Friday 30th April 2021

Mum's funeral went well and the service was lovely. It's a strange thing to say given the event, but it's true. 

It's been a busy and at times stressful few months for me. April in particular has been tough. Physically I'm tired from all the work we've been doing in the house, although it has kept me occupied and it's been a productive couple of weeks. And emotionally and mentally I'm drained with losing Mum and organising all that goes with that. So I'm trying to take some time for myself now and make sure my days tick over at a much gentler pace. 

I feel the need to make a conscious effort to focus more on taking care of myself for a while and sorting through what I call the dead wood in certain areas of my life that have a tendency to drag me down. 

I also need to focus on my enviornment. The house is not how it should be and while I can cope with that for a while if it's a means to an end, it's not something I can happily live with for very long.

There are no dramatic plans, it's basically time for a re-boot. I simply feel the need to 'just be' for a while and properly take the time to sort things out and enjoy and appreciate the small things once again. 

I'm starting with these gorgeous flowers that a relative sent for Mum. Usually the majority of flowers would be donated to hospitals, hospices and care homes but that's not allowed at the moment and we were asked to take them home with us. This beautiful arrangement is on my coffee table and yesterday when I had the house to myself for a little while, which is a rare occurrence lately, I lit a candle and had a quiet few minutes. 

Hope you all have a lovely day and are looking forward to your Bank Holiday weekend. xx

Sunday, 25 April 2021

Sunday 25th April 2021

We've spent most of today building bedroom furniture for Amy's room. After choosing the colour and style she wanted on our visit to IKEA, when it came to purchasing the items, the majority of them were a 6 week wait or out of stock completely, so she's chosen white again. 

She's OK with that. We need to get her rooms sorted out as quickly as possible now because it's dragging on and I want my house back in some sort of order. We've managed to do the wardrobe, bed and bedside table so tonight she'll move rooms. There's still a desk, chair and cabinet to build but that will have to wait a few days now. 

There seem to be BBQ's galore around here today, even Thomas has gone to a birthday one at his friends house. The weather is lovely but I'm having an extra cold day and can't even get warm moving pieces of wood around wearing a jumper and scarf. I feel OK, it's just a side effect of the tablets. 


Tomorrow I need to buy a black bag, take the cards I've written to the florist for the sheaf and posy I've ordered, pop to Iceland for a few bits, pick up some roses and buy a new waterproof mascara. 

We've eaten pizza, chili roasted potatoes and salad for tea. I'm off for a quick bath and then I'll be settling down to watch some TV. 

I've been adding photos to make another video as I've gone along this week which makes an easy job even easier. Hope you've all had a good weekend. xx

Thursday, 22 April 2021

Thursday 22nd April 2021

I needed to go back to the funeral directors today to sign a consent form for the service to be streamed. Mum was a very private person so I'm honestly not sure what she would think about that, but extended family members who can't attend want to 'be there'. Before I committed pen to paper I made sure the cameras are set up at the back of the room. I don't want any up close and personal shots of grieving family. 

Mum was there so I sat with her for a few minutes but only because it was a closed coffin. I wouldn't have gone in otherwise. We were a couple of chatterboxes when we got together and I find myself talking to her all the time about things and keeping her up to date with what's happening, so I told her I was off to order some flowers. I could imagine her saying "don't bother, save your money". 

Back home I needed to do something normal so I've started to tidy the wardrobe. It becomes a dumping ground for anything and everything, including it would seem a random box of Frosties.

I really need to reduce the wool pile and in future try to stick to one project that needs one colour. My mission over the next few weeks is to get all this down to just a couple of balls. 

The easiest way for me to do this is to knit granny stitch blankets. They're a great way of using up odds and ends of wool and I always think they look nice when they're finished. 

We've had an easy but tasty tea of baked potatoes which is one of mine and Amy's favourite meals. Mark had chili and we had salad and feta cheese. Amy went to the dentist yesterday to have a flap of gum tissue cut away from over her wisdom tooth, so her mouth is sore but she's still able to eat. 

I'm going to post this, get my PJ's on, make a cup of tea and watch a couple of vlogs. Hope you've all had a lovely day. xx

Sunday, 18 April 2021

Sunday 18th April 2021

A few years ago Mum researched both my Grandad's family trees. She didn't get very far with her Dad but managed to go back to the 1700's on my Dad's side. She printed a copy out for us all and I should really update mine because so many children have been born since she did it. 

My Grandparents are the oldest generation I remember. Mum was just one week shy of her 19th birthday when she married Dad and I was born 3 days after their first wedding anniversary. I think she looked absolutely gorgeous on her wedding day. Strangely I think my grandparents looked younger later on in life than they did here. 

It's been a productive weekend here at Number 38 but there's also been time to relax and time to do another video. Hope you all enjoyed your weekend. xx

Saturday, 17 April 2021

Saturday 17th April 2021

We've started painting Amy's bedroom. She chose 'After Hours' which I really like, although I'd never be brave enough to choose a colour like this. She's far more daring than I am and I think she'd have gone for an even deeper shade but it's drying darker and she's happy with it

We'll finish the second coat today and then it'll be a quick gloss of the skirting boards, a good scrub of the floor and it's good to go. She's having a new wardrobe and bed so those need to be ordered and will have to be put together which is a job for Mark. Then she can do the frilly bits, bedding, ornaments, mirrors and LED curtains. 

I cleared the porch, tidied the shoe cupboard and sorted the coats out. I've already taken some things to the charity shop this week but there's another bag of books to go. I've missed the charity shop during lockdown. I hate throwing things away and what I clear out is good stuff so I prefer to donate it. I kept some things but really hate clutter so I took most of it to the recycling bins at the tip.  

Mark's cleaning the cars at the moment and then him and Matthew are going to the driving range. They don't get to do much together so it's nice that they've made time to do this. Tom is on his Xbox laughing so loud with his friends I've had to go in and ask him to be quiet and Amy has applied a temporary tattoo before deciding whether she wants a real one or not. 

Tonight we're having fajitas. I just buy a kit then add a few extras. 

And then there'll be brownies which Thomas loves. We'll have them with raspberries and cream.  
It's lovely here today so in between coats of paint I'm going to make sure I sit in the garden and get some sun. And I'm also going to put together another small video.

Hope you all have a lovely day. xx


Thursday, 15 April 2021

Thursday 15th April 2021

One other keepsake I wanted to share was this book. Mum was telling me one evening about a book she was presented with at Sunday school when she was 10 years old. It was the first book she'd been given without pictures and she said it made her feel really grown up. So we went on Amazon and ordered a copy. It's based on the true story of 15 year old Mary Jones who lived in Wales in 1800. She saved up for 6 years for a Bible and then walked 26 miles by herself to buy it. 

There's no denying it, not being here for nearly 5 months apart from brief visits has had a knock on effect in the house. While the basics have been done to a certain extent, there are things that wouldn't have piled up as much if I'd been around more.

So today, there's been a little bit of housework but definitely more tidying and sorting, which I enjoy because I like that before and after feeling. 

It's not in the least bit exciting but here's a little video to give you a flavour of my day. Hope you've all had a good one. xx

Wednesday, 14 April 2021

Wednesday 14th April 2021

I went to the funeral directors today with Mark to sign some paperwork and go through a few things. The date I'd booked also needed to be changed. Trying to co-ordinate everybody has been the only thing that's nearly reduced me to tears so far. Considering there are only 23 people attending it's not been easy. We've had to consider childcare for great-grandchildren and exam dates for older grandchildren and as the main co-ordinator it's definitely taken it's toll on me today. 

I'm not enjoying the writing style of Miss Fisher so I've put it in the charity pile. I've started this book instead. It's modern and a bit more gritty which is my preference plus I can follow the storyline more easily. These days if any more than 4 names are mentioned in the first chapter I'm completely lost.

I started the unicorn jigsaw. I've been wandering over whenever something funeral related has become too much for me which would appear to be a fair few times considering how much I've done. 

I can remember when I was little finding a brown egg was exciting. Today it's the opposite and I was surprised to find 12 white eggs in the box this week. 

Tomorrow is the first day since Mum passed away where I have nothing to do so I'm going to try and work up some enthusiasm for a bit of housework and I might start putting together another little video. 

Hope you've all had a good day. xx

Monday, 12 April 2021

Monday 12th April 2021

Today I've registered Mum's death, spoken to the funeral directors who I need to go and see this week, chosen the music and reading and booked a date for the funeral. 

This afternoon I wanted to do something normal and with all the shops being open again I decided to spend The Works gift card Thomas gave me for Christmas. I chose 3 books and 2 jigsaws and still have some money left. I struggled a bit with the jigsaws, unicorns aren't really my thing, but there wasn't much choice.

I picked this book mostly because I liked the front cover and it's a detective story, a genre I seem to be drawn to lately.  I've never heard of the name Phryne and had to look up how to pronounce it. Fry-Knee in case anybody is wondering. I've discovered there's a fair few books in the series so I hope I like the writing style and story. 


I've told Amy and Thomas Grandma would have wanted them to carry on as normal, so Amy has decided to start decorating her bedroom, something she'd planned to do anyway. She want's blue so I picked up some sample pots to give her an idea of shades and when she's made a final choice I'll help her. I find myself thinking things through when I paint so it will be a good time to quietly reflect.


My friend popped round with a plant and a book for me. Her mum passed away in January and this is the first time we've seen each other for over a year, so it was all a bit emotional. I didn't realise just how much I've missed her.

I usually have a cup of tea in the evening but I've poured myself a glass of red and I'm going to watch a couple of YT videos, then a film with Mark. 

Hope you've all had a lovely day. xx


Sunday, 11 April 2021

Sunday 11th April 2021

Mum passed away on Thursday. She was much more comfortable in her last days and it was very peaceful at the end. Because she was in a hospice I was able to spend as much time as I wanted with her and I was there to hold her hand as she slipped away which I'm so grateful for. There is nothing more I can bring myself to say apart from we are all so very sad. 

Mark and I have lost both our parents, so we are now the top tier of our family and I have to say I don't much like the feeling of having nobody older and wiser to turn to. 

She wasn't one for keeping things. She led a very minimalistic and de-cluttered life but Dad bought her a few pieces of Old Country Roses china before he passed away, so this is the keepsake I've chosen. We also have lots of photos and more importantly videos which will be treasured. 

In her last few weeks she told us we were allowed to grieve for one day and then we had to get on with our lives. Nobody's going to be able to do that but we have laughed as much as we've cried when we've been talking about her. She was a real character and to quote her "God definitely broke the mould when he made my Mum". xx


Monday, 5 April 2021

Monday 5th April 2021

Mum was transferred to a hospice last Thursday. It's local and although there are only 2 named visitors allowed, as long as we have 2 negative covid tests every week myself and my brother can visit whenever we want to which is lovely. There are also guest bedrooms which we could use to stay overnight if we felt the need. 

My daily routine is to go there mid morning and come home about 2pm. Then I go back in the evening for a couple of hours. Mum sleeps a lot but will occasionally wake up and it's nice to be there when she does, just to say hello. The nurses say even though she's sleeping she'll know we're there which I'm choosing to believe. 

At home life ticks along as usual. We went to a BBQ at Matthews Saturday afternoon which was lovely. Sienna is a little monkey and was just the tonic I needed. Matthew boxes so he got the gloves out and we all had a go. I laughed so much my ribs were aching. If Mum was there she'd have been the first to put them on and go a couple of rounds. That's the sort of Mum and Granny I try to be. One who creates silly memories and laughter.

The house has been a tip the past few days. We're moving furniture, dismantling furniture and building furniture. There's been an extra sofa, wardrobe and single bed in the lounge for the past week. Thankfully all those items are now on the drive and being collected tomorrow. Normally, the house being upside down would drive me batty, but I've really not given it a second thought.

Easter celebrations this year were pretty much me buying 2 eggs. One for Mark and one for Tom.  Amy says chocolate makes her teeth hurt and considering she's due to have a piece of skin removed from over one of her wisdom teeth and possibly another wisdom tooth removed, she said she didn't want one. 

I know blogger has updated and I'm not sure if I'm using photo uploads wrong but it seems harder than it did when I was blogging previously. Making a video seem a lot quicker and is more fun to do so here's another one.

Hope you've all had a lovely Easter weekend. xx